I don’t understand how people can be unkind to one another. I don’t get it when people back-stab each other. I have a hard time comprehending why someone would steal, cheat, lie… It feels like I am surrounded by Drama. Drama. Drama!
From the unkind things I’ve heard going on in the bloggerverse lately to the things, I’ve heard others say about my husband (life as a pastor), to how my sister’s ex-husbands are treating them & their loved ones, to waking up this morning to find
my son‘s bike has been stolen, a broken bike left in its place. I shake my head in utter disbelief.
I was raised to think the best of someone, to encourage one another, to celebrate with them when they are celebrating, and to mourn with those who mourn. I was taught to walk in love with others. I don’t understand how people can think so little of each other!
Last spring, after returning from BlissDom USA, I wrote this post,
“Don’t Lose Your Grip on Kindness” after being inspired by Stephanie Smirnov, President and Chief Creative Officer of DeVries Public Relations.
Over the year, I’ve become more and more careful about who I confide in, who I work with, who I trust in business, and who I let in my inner circle. I don’t want to be surrounded by Drama. Drama. Drama!
The Bible says, “
Iron sharpens Iron,” what others have will rub off on you and
will either bring you down or lift you up.
If people are nasty, conniving, inconsistent, etc… you do not want them influencing your life or your business in any way, shape, or form. What help or success they may bring, will only be temporary.
Align yourself with GOOD people. {Try to} keep yourself Drama-Free. Life is way too short…
Zig Ziglar’s Facebook post this week reminded me of that. That’s what inspired this post. I won’t be surrounded by Drama.Drama.Drama!
There comes a time in your life when you need to choose to surround yourself with those who have not lost their grip on kindness, love, and loyalty. Surround yourself with those who have earned a reputation for living well. Proverbs 3:3
In choosing to live and work this way, I know you will succeed. It may take a little bit longer… but it will be worth it in the end.
If nothing else, remember this… my husband is known for saying this in his sermons, “How you do what you do, is actually more important than what you end up doing!”
#BeKind
Update: It has come to my attention that there may be some misunderstandings as to what was behind writing this post so I’ve shut the comments. This post was 99% of what is happening in my real offline life and 1% blog world. Final thoughts… I wear my heart on my sleeve and help & support everyone who comes across my path. Please don’t read between the lines, if anyone needs clarification – I’m easy to find.
**Update #2 Dec 19, 2013: I’ve written about all that was going on in my life, leading up to this post. Read more about it here.
That's the point where I'm at too. Haters will hate no matter what you do and will always find fault. However, I've chosen to not pay any attention and am surrounding myself with good, positive people.
It's hard to remain positive when you're surrounded by negative. I'm glad you've chosen to not pay it any mind.
Whoever goes hunting for what is right and kind finds life itself—glorious life! ~ Proverbs 21:21 {MSG}
Awesome Post! I appreciate Stacie posting the link to this as I needed to read this today. I really don't like drama; where many thrive on it; I would just as soon walk away. I will be sharing your post because it is well worth it! Thank you once again; and I hope your son's bike is found; and you find more kindness than not.
Thanks for coming by and commenting Becky. I really appreciate it and yes, I hope Q gets another bike… here's to praying for a newer and better one than he had before. 🙂
Stacie is right, haters will be haters. I do not understand it either. I trust too easily and have to now choose who I confide in and trust. I learned the hard way in this lovely bloggerverse.
I love you! That.is.all!
I really enjoyed catching up and listening to all you shared with me on Thursday night. A lot of us have had that same experience! My theory is, if enough of us stay positive and focused on being grateful and kind… the world just might change for the better. 🙂
This is beautiful, Shannon! I'm a huge believer in the ability to choose to be happy and I make that choice every single day, but every once in a while there's a day when making the choice is harder than usual. I'm bookmarking this post for those days. 🙂
Same here Kat, for decades I'd wake up and say out loud, "This is the day the Lord has made, I will CHOOSE to rejoice and be glad in it!" I don't think we'll ever be free of people who won't allow themselves to be happy for others, but we can choose how we respond to it. xxoo
Loved reading this tonight… I almost wrote a post just like it… just had one of those days of reflection.
Thanks Annie. There seems to be a common theme going through the air eh, reflection is a good thing, for all of us.
This is a really nice post. I've been struggling with disappointment in others lately, as well, but all we can do is look ahead and be as positive and happy as possible. The drama will never go away, but the way we handle it definitely makes all the difference!! 🙂
Thanks Crissy, I find it so hard not to be saddened and disappointed by what I hear (first hand). I swear, at times, it feels like I'm six and someone just popped my shiny red balloon. But you are so right, it probably will never go away, but how we respond will speak louder in the end.
Thank you for writing this post Shannon. The things that have been going on lately with others has just pained me. It is heartbreaking to watch because good people get torn down and for what? Nothing is worth devastating another's feelings and self-worth! My favourite bible verse is ….. "You may think you are doing right, but the Lord will judge your reasons." In the end, He does see everything…
Yup, He does see everything, that's why it is so important we respond in a way that lifts us up and the people around us. It's a misnomer that "Good guys finish last" as in they are the last to finish line in the race of life… I think that's more like, "Good guys will still be here in the end when all others are long gone." 🙂
It's hard when all you want to do is believe that all people are inherently good. Reality has proven otherwise, sadly. I have too much going on in my life to get caught up in the drama. The French saying "Chacun son gout" keeps running through my head. People will do whatever they want to do and you can't change the past. Leading by example is a good way to live, I think. Kindness breeds kindness. Thanks for this post, Shannon!
That's very true Diana, like attracts like, Kindness breeds Kindness. I really believe the more we don't give into the drama but instead give out kindness, love and loyalty… the drama will lessen. #hope
Unfortunately, there are some people out there who only seem to be content when they have someone to be mean to or to bully.
I'm with you, I just don't understand how a person can go through life that way. It's sad that they can't see the value in being kind and thoughtful. Stay true to yourself!
It's true, those people will always be with us but how we respond to the situation, will speak volumes in the end. Be true to you. 🙂
Great post!
It's very shocking (and depressing) to hear and witness first hand how cruel people can be.
I was personally victim to my friend of 20 years pulling some horrible and malicious things on myself and another friend. I tolerated the behavior for a year and finally called her out on it – while long story short, I beared the wrath of her anger and our friendship disolved.
It was heart breaking to lose such a dear friend who has been part of my life for so long, but the negativity that was always a part of being around her is not missed!
I try to see the good in everyone (and everyone does have it in them) but have found the hard way that the negatives will often triumph.. It's hard to cut ties and walk away, but sometimes you need to!
Sorry to hear about you and your friend, it is hard to break away, I've gone through that on a similar level but not near as lengthy of a friendship. It is necessary at times. Toxic relationships can poison every facet of our lives, negativity affects our spirit, soul and body. Thanks for coming by and commenting.
Awesome post and SO true. This past year has had me revisit many of the relationships I held in high regard. I don't have time/energy/desire to deal with drama. What never ceases to amaze me is how much more awesome we let into our lives the moment we let go of the drama. Thanks for sharing and sorry for your son's bike 🙁
Yesterday, Q went to church and someone from church gave him a bike!!! He was absolutely thrilled. 🙂
I hate that we have to journey through these things, I ALWAYS want to scream and then grab the other person and share the REAL story with them. How our human weaknesses allow us to fall party to this kind of behavior but if only they could know the GRACE that's been given to them….well wouldn't it be wonderful if we all understood that someone loves us enough to die for us.
Bravo to you for putting this out there, when it would be easiest to grin and bear it you're putting it on the table hoping to inspire someone. You know I'm always here for you.
Much like the mission statement behind "WE Day"…. I really believe we have to be the change we want to see in the world. If we react to the negative in a negative way, we are not going to bring about positive change.
One of my other favourite Scripture verses is, Romans 12:2, "Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."
It can be so easy to get caught up in the drama. I try to keep my distance though. And I always hope I don't inadvertently cause drama. Life is indeed too short, and there are plenty of great people out there with whom we can surround ourselves. I've gotten more and more picky about my friends over the years.
Hang in there! You and your husband are such good, loving people. xo
I like keeping a distance too, hard when one becomes the topic of mean-spirited conversations though.
It's been like this since high school, you'd think I would've gotten used to the drama by now. 🙂 all I can do is keep looking forward, keep being me. 🙂 xxoo
You know, even my daughter (in grade one) asks why people can be so mean-spirited. I think people are people, and prone to this kind of ridiculousness. All we can do is choose wisely with whom we associate, and find the goodness.
Walking away from drama takes maturity and experience… it's not usually fun getting to the point, but once we leave it behind, it's a great feeling. 🙂
It's like shedding that last 10lbs that lingers after Thanksgiving. 🙂 Never felt better!!
I work as a conflict management specialist/mediator by day and I see the drama. My role is to be neutral, and I never get caught up in it. I remind everyone that there are two sides to everything and that everyone contributes to the way things are in some way. Either by doing or not doing. I love your thoughts in this post. By taking charge of how you choose to be associated and how you choose to treat others, you always know where you stand. Be truthful and open to differing thoughts, be kind, be fair and remember that one's own perception isn't always truth is what I tell others and live by myself. I also dont' understand the hurtful and the petty, the thieves and the liars. It's not a healthy way to live -hurting others and by doing so, hurting themselves. We can only control ourselves and by choosing to be drama free and to be a good person, we've won the game. and if we protect those that need it, from those that can't be good, well, even better. Did I mention I really loved what you had to say?
I feel your pain and do not understand it myself. Sigh, hopefully people can just let people be themselves and leave one another alone. I am a big karma believer and really hope that all the good we do will come back in some way or another
Just for reference, this was not all about the drama online… I have an offline life too… it was also about other things in my life, my sister's ex, my sister in law's ex, my ex-step mother-in-law and people who come and go at our church.