Yesterday while I was busy cleaning the house to get ready for the party when the little girl from across the street came by to see if my 6-year-old daughter would come out to play. Em said she didn’t want to play with her. I tried to push her to go out for a little while and play, the girl is new to the neighbourhood, “be a nice neighbour” I kept saying. She wouldn’t do it no matter how much I asked her to. Em can be stubborn but this is rediculous I thought.
The little girl came into the house and hung around for a bit then started playing with Liam, he’ll play with anyone and everyone who will pay him some attention. They went up stairs to play in the kid’s bedroom.
I went upstairs to check on them after awhile and they had water everywhere, shooting it out of spray bottles. I asked them to stop. I quickly found out why Em didn’t want to play with her. She’s bossy and pushy and doesn’t listen well. This little girl was jumping all over the kid’s beds and dumping out all the toys from their toybox. Liam was standing there mortified – he knew I had just cleaned the room and he knew what my reaction would be – he knew we had people coming over to the house. I asked them (her) to clean the mess and leave the room. “Go outside and play, I’m trying to keep the house clean for the party.” I must have said this 2 or 3 times to no avail. She looked at me like she couldn’t hear me and continued to sit on the couch and spray water at my TV. YUP! That’s right!
I was trying to rationalize her behaviour and I don’t like what I started thinking. I know I sterotyped her, that she does whatever she wants because…”she’s an only child”, “she’s adopted”, “her parents are quite a bit older than us”. Before you jump up and down on me understand I know it is stereotypeing and I am so sorry but these were my thought patterns as bad or wrong as they were. For a while I actually let her get away with what she was doing because of this thinking process.
How forceful do you get with other people’s children? I was really trying not to loose it with her, she is just a child after all. I quickly said, “I’ve asked you to stop – now go outside before I go and get your mom.” She jumped up and left the house. Oh my goodness! I’ve never been put out by a 6 year old in my entire life!! She came back to the door a couple hours later and wanted inside to play. I’ve never not opened the door to anyone, least of all to a little child.
I know I should go have a chat with her mom. What would you do? We live right across from each other – I can’t avoid their family forever…
We had a little girl similar to this that used to live across the street from us. My daughter didn’t enjoy playing with her at all, but she continued to come ask to play. Her parents just sent her outside and wouldn’t check on her for hours at a time, which I could not even comprehend! Anyway, I think we just kept sticking to our guns and would come up with one excuse or another why the kids couldn’t play when she came over. I wasn’t going to force Emily to play with her when I didn’t even want to have to deal with her myself! I never talked to her mom about it I guess mainly because I strongly dislike confrontation. I also didn’t think that a parent who didn’t care enough to keep track of their own kid for hours at a time would care if she was behaving badly at my house. I hope you find a way to work it all out!!
Oh my gosh! I think that little girl lives down the street from me too! HA HA.
I know exactly what you’re saying. There’s a little girl who’s the same annoying way. And she is an only child. I can’t stand her – I know it sounds bad, but it’s true. I finally had it with her and told her she needs to mellow out or maybe not come around until she does — of course she told her mom that I said she’s not allowed to come over here ever again (according to my kids) – which is NOT what I said – well maybe, I don’t know. 😉
Listen to me. I just did a post on teaching my son about not retaliating and here I am picking on a kid! Bad, bad, bad.
I was going to talk to her mom, but conveniently she was “asleep” when I went over so I don’t know what the real situation is.
Ok all that and I don’t really have any advice. Sorry!
We had a similar experience with a boy in our neighbourhood…you know who I mean. We had to go and talk to the parents about it and it was good for both families. You also need to stick to your guns on rules in our house. If your consistant with the rules things may not escilate to a level that you do not want it to go to. Also remember Matthew 18 it tells you what you should be doing at this point.
we have had this trouble with our old neighbor’s little girl too, a lot of the time I put up with it and sometimes when it was over the top, I just sent her home….. have you asked the Father what He wants you to do yet?
Tell her -“you are welcome here so long as you abide by these rules….and spell them out for her…and tell her, “when you break the rules, you will be asked to leave” and that’s that…then follow through if she breaks a rule…give her the boundary and the consequence, and the rest is up to her..and tell her mom this is what you will be doing…either mom will keep her home or she won’t, nothing else you can do
Yeah, I think there must be one on every street, except it would *never* be my child *grinning sarcastically*.
With the girl on our street, she is old enough to understand when I talk to her. Princess doesn’t like playing with her but doesn’t want to hurt her feelings either, so we worked out a plan, when things get too “heated” for her she checks her watch or pretends she hears me calling her. When it is my child, Cutie Pie (hence the sarcasm up there;), I like to be told if there is a problem. I have learned to get over the initial smack in the face and I really want to deal with whatever the problem is. It depends on what the parents are like.
Make sure she knows your house rules, strictly (but gently) enforced, and have her play at your place instead of your kids going over there. Have the family over for dinner to welcome them to the neighbourhood (which you are good at doing anyways) whenever the possibility opens up…
You know you will do the right thing. You have a sweet and gentle spirit!!
It sounds like this little girl needs some loving arms AND some strong discipline. I’d talk to her Mom… otherwise, how else will she know?