I guess it sounded like I was the type of friend that was one sided in my last post – making my friends wait around for me and for a break in my schedule.
That’s not the case at all but it is complicated and if you do not walk in the shoes of those who are pastors of a church (and the only pastors I might add)… it’s hard to understand. In essence, we are married to the body that attends our church. This means that more time will be spent with those in our church but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t include those who don’t…
Now what kind of friend am I?
My friends (inside and outside of the church) know without a shadow of a doubt that if they need me – I am there! I have been called at midnight, 2am, 4am and all throughout the day – and even if I haven’t had any sleep because I have 4 small children – I am out the door, in my pj’s most of the time, rushing to their side. I have sat up all night in the waiting room of the ER and slept (with a newborn baby) beside their bed until I knew they were ok. I have sat up many a night – all night – praying. The night before my first was born, I was up the entire night in prayer for one of our friends who was in the hospital having a very difficult and dangerous birth. I went into labour (2 weeks early) that evening after having zero sleep. God provides the stamina to continue let me tell you!
I have flown 5,000 klms for friend’s weddings and for their funerals. I have taken their children over night (and sometimes longer) so that they as a couple could re-connect. I have cleaned their houses so that they could be free to go out for the night. I even pledged to shave my head if my friend lost her hair as a result of her chemo treatments (she didn’t loose her hair and made me promise not to go through with it). I have helped them redecorate their homes and we have shopped until we dropped! We go to movies and coffee and just hang out in our pj’s eating popcorn and chocolate. I think I’m pretty fun actually…
I didn’t say it was impossible for me to love those who love me.
I hate that this is sounding like a, “Shash’s a good friend — really!” letter. I just wanted to explain a bit. I know I have a busy schedule – quite insane at times really – and if you ask those who are really close to me… I don’t think I’d look too bad… but I know that there’s always room for improvement!!
I think you are an awesome friend, you have always been there when I needed you and I know that you will always be there…I find that when you speak up it always makes me think more about my situation and encourages me to grow:-)
I agree, you didn’t need to defend yourself. When I read back over the comments on your previous post, I think people were just telling you their own personal experiences. I hope you didn’t feel that we were referring to you. I also liked one comment someone made about it being hard to watch your close friends make a mess of their life and never take anyones advice let alone yours. Life is hard and I think we navigate the waters the best we can. You did make all of us think though and I’m sure you are a great friend. Thanks for visiting my blog!
Friends don’t need to keep score, they just play for the fun of it.
I believe you are a good friend. You are genuine in your expressions. I have taken note of your comments on other blogs, you certainly show yourself to be a friend, thoughtful and compassionate. Your true friends that really know you, should have no problem with your busy schedule. They should be willing to work within your time frame unless it is truly an emergency situation. In that case, I feel like you would make an exception and make time to be there for that person.
The “knowing” of another person is the key to making it through the rough spots in any relationship. True friendship is not selfish or demanding. It is an out-growth of knowing and understanding one another.