Have you ever had those days when you didn’t want to get out of bed?
I have.
Most of my friends know that I hate mornings. Garfield and I have a lot in common. Not many know that some days though… I want to stay in bed, not to sleep some more, but to escape. To avoid my responsibilities. To avoid my life. Today was one of those days.
For the most part I am that bubbly, social butterfly, who gets a high from being around people and rarely has a bad hair day, person ~ but there are those days when I can’t get dressed. I can’t answer the phone. I can’t make dinner. I just don’t want to open my eyes. Those are the days I wish I was physically ill so I’d have a better “excuse” to stay in bed.
That’s not an easy thing to admit as a Pastor’s Wife.
Growing up, that title put images in my head of the perfect partner to her Preacher-man. She plays the piano with perfect poise, placating the parishioners, a Petunia puff perched in her pleats.
ppppppppppppppft!
I am NOT that person, nor do I ever – ever – EVER wish to be! That person is not real to me. I am real. I am imperfect. I have flaws. I am OK with that. K, that’s not entirely true, I’m only OK with that when others are OK with that. Why do I let a few bad apples spoil the whole barrel?!
In reality, it’s not a “because I’m married to the Minister” thing, it’s a Shannon thing. I struggle with disappointing people and feeling like a failure. At times I feel invisible… forgotten. I always have. Being the Pastor’s Wife just means I can pull off the “smile and nod” thing better than anyone else!
I’m not as confident as I look.
When I saw the following quote, I thought it was perfect. It says everything that I’ve wanted to say but can’t.
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” ~ Marilyn Monroe
So, can you handle me?
I think we all have days like that! I can totally relate and I love that Monroe quote!
I am sending you hugs from afar and trust me I can handle you very few bad days mixed in with the millions of things that are wonderful about you. xo
Oh I can handle you in so many ways. 🙂 You're wonderful just the way you are.
That is one of my favourite quotes. You are a rockstar lady!
Have no fear, sister. Sometimes with Kid Gloves, sometimes with Boxing Gloves, I will handle you. But then again, I would expect no less from you 😉
I love you honey.
xox
boy can I relate this and yep, that's a really great quote!
We all have days like that. Not everyone has the guts to admit it. We are human and we all have our limits. After surviving days like these, calls for spa getaways. We all need "me" time and whatever your "me time" happens to be, go for it.
Thanks for sharing!
I love that quote and you, sweetie! I totally get how this post…totally.
I totally get that. I am normally the type of person who is ready to take on the world head on, but the last month has drained me. Sickness, Christmas, Car accident and now the death of my Grandmother… there are days that I just don't want to face the world.
But luckily tomorrow is another day of new beginnings.
I can totally relate. You are a great person keep your chin up. I know it isn't always simple and I find it harder in the winter.
Thanks for sharing and I also love that quote.
Love the quote and have been there many, many times. I love you Miss Shannon…for all that you are
Truth: Somedays I *DO* stay in bed … and I'm not "sick".
And you know what, it's OK. And the next day, the world looks better and I can cope again.
Hugs.
Worse than recognizing that we are merely human and can have our crappy days wherein we actually might feel some sorrow, or melancholy or – heaven forbid – anger, is the robotic numbness that enables us to smile pretty, nod nicely and say all is well, thank you very much.
Being real means you feel…
When I am weak, then He is strong.
I've had the "wheels are falling off" sense of being (not a feeling but more like sense of who I am). Keep moving so moss can't grow. {Hugs}
love the honesty Shash…. I so get that…love the quote!!! going to steal it! 🙂 love you big much!
I am having one of those days, today. It is raining and my house is in shambles due to a water damage problem. I have a meeting this morning and I don't want to put my clothes on. My mother was bipolar and often remained in bed for weeks. I think she was a great role model for me to want to get up each day. I seldom give in to my slug bug thoughts. But sometimes I do….You were my very first commenter. Thanks, for being you!
This post is so refreshing! And the timing is perfect–I've been off work for over a week with a 'good excuse' as you put it, due to surgeryand that gets old too! I'm not a pastor's wife, but being a woman in ministry, I know what you mean about perceived expectations of people around me. I've never been good at living up to them…. I get too caught up being myself, and then that discovery, that someone is disappointed in me, threatens to bring me to a grinding halt. That is when I worry about whether people can handle my humanity…. And I have to conclude that it's not the end of the world if they can't, because God can! Thanks for being vulnerable!
I could have written this! Dealing with Fibro and all the other stuff makes me feel this way mostly in the winter when EVERY morning is one I would rather stay in bed. Thus, I have been caught in my pj's by a few church people esp in the last month. At least I was dressed in pj's or a housecoat…not necessarily the two together…
Great post! I love your honesty.
I think we all have days like that! Some more than others, but it's normal babe – I hope you enjoyed your sleep in 😉
That quote is awesome!
First of all, you are gorgeous, friendly and you care for others A WHOLE LOT. Secondly, as Pastor's Wife, you and everything about you are highly visible. Those two things in combination make for a lot of hard work and drained energy. You deserve/need a few days here and there to hide out and recoop. Keep Calm and Carry On!
Those who don't appreciate you, do not deserve you.
Rosemary
I can handle you. I will even let you hide out at my house on the days you want to hide from the world. HUGS
Flaws rock, honey!
Insecurites? Out-of-controlness? Selfishness? Impatience? Mistakes?
That means we're breathing.
We're human. And we're freaking interesting.
So stay in bed. And take another day — on me. : )
(Your presence on earth is a life-gift, I'm thinkin. The best gifts are ALWAYS the interesting ones.; )
@writewrds
Shannon! It is like thoes words were my own. I have so many of thoes days I couldn't even count.
Amazing post. Thank you for sharing Shannon. You do pull it off very well, I had no idea. *hugs*
Very honest post. It's important to take the time to get your energy back and that is okay. You are only human after all. Great quote.
I love the quote. I've been having several "can't face the world" days lately. I totally get it. Big Hugs!